Things that have changed.
I’d recommend letting me read this one to you. May more change continue to come :)
Things that have changed
I do not like pomegranates during winter.
It is a pain to prepare and hurts my stomach.
My clothes do not fit me in size, shape, or presence.
I am changing I am changing I am changing.
Look how many new clothes came after the great purge,
now that I am unattached to my life’s comfort.
In each tension lies a portal to the reveal.
I am changing I am changing I am changing.
Music cannot enchant me under the spell of any artist.
I no longer deify gurus who are only broken clocks.
I tell you in truth what I am and what I give.
I am changing I am changing I am changing.
And I have the references to prove it all, too.
I don’t want to (need to) leave behind where I am.
I don’t want to (need to) leave those who are with me.
I am changing I am changing I am changing.
I keep some words hidden and let other words free,
and my body gets stronger with every morning,
and burns even brighter, deeper into the night.
I am changing I am changing I am changing.
I am not and cannot be angry anymore.
Anxiety is a guest and not an inmate.
Even food I cannot eat holds a memory.
I am changing I am changing I am changing.
Sweet childhood has gone, and my tongue gone with it.
Rolling my eyes at the sky and her messages.
Raise my head to meet each pair of eyes that pass me.
I am changing I am changing I am changing.
Reach my hands to touch you as me and me as you.
There is love here, unspoken but known beyond me.
Watch my elders become my children, my siblings.
I am changing I am changing I am changing.
Money becomes a river I feign to drown in.
Collecting my thoughts is now for scraps of paper,
The process has no desired destination.
I am changing I am changing I am changing.
Desire’s game bores me when I know how to love.
I have strayed very far from my acidic self.
I drink cereal milk and smile at strangers.
I am changing I am changing I am changing.
I can live on the internet with self-control,
visit and remember you are still an unknown.
I am a writer, not wanting, trying to write.
I am changing I am changing I am changing.
Becoming someone who embraces what I am,
Means I do not fear the cold; the embrace remains.
I do not overthink my comfort or sadness.
I am changing I am changing I am changing.
My shell covers me during seasons of myself:
falling out of love with the faces on my walls
and the digital mirrors echoing the past.
I am changing I am changing I am changing.
I miss my teenage self with everything in me.
I listen to Sade and circle my hips wide.
I do not need my data gift wrapped just for me.
I am changing I am changing I am changing.
Mouth craves less dopamine through easy consumption.
I do not need the internet to feel seen.
I love the art that the old parts of me held dear.
I am changing I am changing I am changing.
Have the time of my life in unlikely places.
I sacrifice cool on the altar of freedom.
What I was always going to be, I become.
I am changing I am changing I am changing.
The words I made sermon became spells turning me.
I am changing I am changing I am changing.
Something inside rushes through me, enlivens me.
I am changing I am changing I am changing.
I love with something silly becomes something sincere.
